End the Experience

Ok, so I decided to end this series of experience. { Dun cry ppl =O ,, I know you were enjoyin' it tho mucht .. hehehe .. }

So seriously, why did I end it. Well, it was boring me, that's one, and, well, the only thing that could be worth mentioning is that in that whole month I didn't meet except ONE real mentor!!!! I know that I wasn't in a software specialized organization, so meeting a mentor wouldn't be that easy.

So, I'll just cut it short and to the point.

CASE was my worst experience EVER. They managed to waste my time for a whole month and a half. ( DAMN !!!!! )

I still have to be fair, I did gain one thing from CASE, a friend, who was my boss at some point (A.T). The only guy that actually taught me something new and made me see something computer related. A huge big thank you.

So that was CASE.

After that I went to Egypt Post and trained there for 2 weeks. I'm happy to say I worked and learnt in those 2 weeks more than that stupid month and a half.

To conclude my summer, I went to Smart Cards Application Company. I was going to train there for as long as I wanted. I ended up training for ONE day and that's it !!!! { shoot me .. shoot me NOW }

I had to go back to college and couldn’t manage to go as a part-timer since it was Ramadan and I would finish college at 3. { Seriously SHOOT ME }

So that was my AMAZING summer.

That’s the experience.

And now to my new articles !!!!!

My CASE Experience (2)

Ok, so after that amazing day, I guess you can imagine how I felt about going back to that place. Little did I know that that was not the end of my problems!
Anyway, the next day, I got up and re-did the morning scenario from the previous day. Again, with all the enthusiasm in the world {ok, a little less enthused than the other day}, I headed straight to my dad's friend's office. He wasn’t there. During my wait, a man – whom I don’t know – came up to me and asked me who I was waiting for, and then he told me to wait for Mr.A in his office. So, we went to his office, and he told me that he'll call me to come down to him, so when the telephone rings, answer. I hate answering phones that are not mine. And what if it wasn’t that guy? Anyways, I sat there looking at the walls and not knowing what to do. In a while, the office boy came in and found me. He, of course, was surprised to find me in the office. Some way or another, I managed to explain the situation and he was ok, or maybe he just didn’t understand whatever I muttered.

After a while, the phone rang, and the guy told me to come down to him. So, my journey started, and I went down. He took me to another office in another building to see that manager. He sat me down for like 30 seconds. He asked me where I'm studying and called this other guy and told him I'm going to him and that I'll be training there for some time.
So, again I got up and went back to the other building and went to that other manager. He sat me down for like a minute. Actually this guy was pretty nice. A real gentleman. He doesn’t talk to anyone until he sits down and chills for a while. He talks with him a while to loosen up, whether a new person he is meeting or someone who just wants something from him or whatever. Anyways, after catching my breath, he told me I'd be spending my first week in a department called OTC. And, again, he sent me to the head of the department so I could meet him.

This time, thank God, the office was in the same building, only 3 floors up.
I went to the head's office, and he started to explain roughly the idea of the department. The he took me to the department's managers' office. They were two, a man and a woman. The women started talking first. There, I met another trainee, Ahmed; he was a fresh graduate from Faculty of Commerce CU. As soon as he found out that I'm an FCISian, he felt intimidated by me, although I am the one who should have felt so since, after all, this was his field. I didn’t really care anyway about that because I had a goal to achieve, which is finish all these departments so I could finally go to IT. But this Ahmed guy couldn’t stop trying to impress the managers!! He started talking all professional talk that of course I didn’t understand a word from, and he had that extremely weird grin on his face. Anyway, forgetting Ahmed for some time, the lady started saying again what the department does a little bit more details, just a little bit. After she finished she asked that other guy if he wanted to add anything and he said no nothing, just if you guys need anything, Ahmed or I, his office is always open for us. Then the lady took us to the office where we'll be spending the rest of the week.

The office was a small room, smaller than my room I guess, consisting of 5 desks with an employee on each one. The room was filled with brokers. The OTC is simply the transfers of stocks that happens between a buyer (normally a regular person) and a company which has not yet reached the set specifications by CASE so their deals do not happen in the CORBE (which is what you see on TV with the brokers on their PCs and telephone).
Each one of these employees has a minimum of 3 files which may contain more than one transfer. What they do is check that the procedure is correct, which means they check all the given documents and make sure that they are correct so that they guarantee the existence of the stocks that will be transferred. In short, they guarantee that the buyer does indeed get his stocks and that they are not fictitious.

When the lady took us to the office, she introduced us and we sat down at the end of the room. I sat there looking around, watching the employees and the brokers. A totally new world for me. I sat there looking around, when I finished looking at the people, I started looking at the stacked folders all around the room. No one even turned to tell us a thing. Then that Ahmed guy, told me to come with him and that he'll take me to show me around. I was bored and had nothing to do, so I went with him. He showed me around to a couple of offices with some people that work there. Turns out, Ahmed had trained last year in CASE. So I asked him what he did during his last training, he told me sit up there like you saw. And he seemed so surprised that I was asking or objecting. He told me, what do you expect, that they'll make you work or even take the time to explain something to you!! I asked him if he had benefited anything and the reason he came back. He told me that he didn’t really benefit much except meeting new people and building relations, and he came back because he thinks that that way he would have the priority in getting a job in CASE. He still didn’t get what I'm so surprised about. Anyway, I got bored of this guy trying to impress me (not in a good way) and make me feel like I'm a total loser. I went back to the office, and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I decided to go to the managers and just do something about it.

I went there, all huffy and stuff, and asked the guy there (the one who told us if we had any problems we go to him) what exactly am I supposed to do? The guy was stunned. As if I'm the first person ever to ask that question. He asked me what I meant, so I told him that for sure I'm not supposed to sit there and do nothing all day. He told me actually I don't know, why don’t you go to the head and ask him. The guy was very nice actually, he seemed helpful but he just couldn’t help me. Again, all huffed up, I went to the head, lucky for him he wasn’t there, I seriously do mean he is lucky I didn’t find him. But his secretary was there. I asked her the same question, she told me sit there, you think you can learn the work so soon, no way, even that week you are spending is not enough to understand anything. I told her yes but I already understood what's going on and I need at least to do anything practically, under the supervision of anyone. She told me of course you can't, you just go and sit there you'll learn a lot!!!

Absolutely furious and out of my mind, I returned to the office and sat on the lovely chair. I, again, started to look around me. There was only one woman in the office along with 4 other men. I was sitting in front of her. She noticed that I was furious and so pissed off, so she apologized to me for not being able to sit with me that day because she was very busy but the next day she'll sit with me and explain things and even work with her in an operation she is doing.

To make this a very exciting first day, the head came into the office and found me sitting there, he told me by the way you don’t need to stay here till the official working hours, you can leave and come anytime you like.

After reading the story of my "official" first day, how long do you think I stayed there???

Amazingly, I reached there 10, went to OTC 10:30, left CASE at about 1:30!!!
Wait for more, that was just the start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My CASE experience (1) ...

And I'm back to bug you again =D
I bet y'all missed me so much =D

Well, I have been busy interning in CASE. To FCISians CASE is Computer Aided Software Engineering. But now, I have a new meaning for CASE; Cairo and Alexandria Stock Exchange, my summer home !!
I have been trying to write about my experience there for quite some time now, but I just kept delaying it. But I have finally made up my mind, I'm going to write.
I'll start the story from the beginning.
It all started when my dad found out I was looking for places to intern in, that was like the beginning of last year's first term. I had sent my CV to a couple of places, started asking some people to ask if they have an interning program where they work and just waiting for someone to answer. And one day, my dad came home so happy with a huge smile on his face, and just couldnt wait to tell me the happy news, that he actually told me as soon as he closed the house door !! ( My dad usually waits tell he's changed his clothes and then calls whoever he holds news for and then spills it out.) With a HUGE smile he said:" I found two places for you to intern in, very very good places, you'll need to get me a certificate from your college for one because its a governmental internship, but the other place is private so you don't need any documents,".
Of course, hearing that, I was extermly and utterly excited, mainly because of his excitment. I then found out that he got me an internship in CASE and another member firm. I actually thought it was cool. If you think about it, you'll find that a main department in SE is IT and database developing and stuff, which is exactly what I want. So, I thought to myself, well cool, its settled, I'm going to intern in CASE for a month, then in that member firm for another month and finally take a break till the start of college. It seemed as a perfect plan. And the search stopped. Having found a place to intern, I finally felt safe and organized. I started preparing myself mentally and emotionally. I had those pink dreams; I'm going to show them how great I am, they'll want to hire me as soon as I graduate, I'll be active and do the impossible, I'll beat all the trainees and make my superiors see that they have never ever had such a trainee before.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Just thinking of those dreams makes me laugh. !!!
The people who know me, know that I'm not a quitter, I'm a strong person with a strong personality that always gets what she wants someway or another. Well, for sure I didn't stand there doing nothing when troubles came my way.
Now that you know the start and how that internship came, I'll start telling my story .....

I decided to start on 1/7/2007 , which was a sunday.
I got up at 7:30am, got dressed, was extremely excited, actually took pictures of my first day and was off to my aunt's place; she drops me off to CASE. When I got there she was ready and waiting for me in the car so that I wouldn't be late for my first day. We reached there about 10 may be or even earlier than that. I had visited CASE once before when I found out I'm going to intern there. I had met my dad's friend, who got me the internship, and knew where his office was. I headed staright to his building, I just wanted to make sure that that really was the building, so I looked for the security guards, but couldn't find a single one of them. I found an office next to the information office, I entered. There was a lady sitting there talking on the phone, I asked her if that was my dad's friend's office. Her reply was soooo relieving .............................
The wonderful lady told: " I actually don't know, sorry. But they are on holiday today .. { me going crazy from inside at this moment :nod } .. its the end of their finiancial year,".
Having nothing to say, I thanked the lady and left.
I was in a total rage. I was sooooooo angry. I WOKE UP EARLY =O
So, I called my dad, he told me ok, no problem, go to your uncle's office ( its right next to CASE ).
Apparently, my dear father had not called his friend to tell him that I'll be going to him that day.
I went to my uncle's office, where my aunt was. She couldn't believe it when she saw me. She just burst out with laughter, she couldn't stop and I didn't blame her, I couldn't stop laughing either.
I stayed with my aunt all day in my uncle's office and did some work and then went home at the end of the day.

And that was my first day at CASE, in a way.

The rest is yet to come ... Stay Tuned =D

Words - Part 2

Completing what I start in the last post.....

Another effect of words on us ....

“The Power of the Word”

{... HUH... This sounds exactly the same as what you have been blabbing about for the last God knows how long??!! }

Well, no. The Power of the Word here is not what most of you think. It means that the word may have an influence on you.
{OK ... you have totally lost your mind; it IS what you have blabbing about}

Again, well, no. Let me try to make it a bit clearer.

(To my Arab friends)
Do you remember that old movie, when there was this short guy that went to a hypnotist, and the hypnotist made him repeat a certain phrase? (ana mesh 2osayar 2oz3a, ana taweel w ahbal =D) which means: I'm not short and tiny, I'm tall and goofy.
I bet that that guy, after repeating that phrase for some time, finally believed that he really is tall (exclude the ahbal part =D).

A word you say to yourself, or another person, if said in a certain way, or repeated for some time, may be eventually believed.
It’s the same idea as, don't say “Can I Do this ", but say “I Can Do this "* . By telling yourself you can do something, you start believing that you can.
As much as this is a good thing, it’s an extremely dangerous thing too.

For instance, if I tell my friend, “You don't look good ", I might mean it as a joke, but the human brain doesn't take something and accept it as it is. The brain doesn't take the word and throw it at the back of the mind. No. The brain processes that word. And while you totally meant it as a joke, your friend will not take it that way. She'll start thinking,: " Well, when I wore this she said I don't look good, and before she pointed out that my mouth is asymmetric and before that she said that I had gained weight. And not only her, my other friends have been pointing out faults in my clothing ... ", and the human brain just never stops. In the end, a simple joke made a person's self image become destroyed.

I'm not saying don't joke (Hell, I'm the last to say so =D), but as long as the joke is clear and unrepeated, then it’s ok. Most important than repeating is to know who you are joking with. If this person is sensitive and already has a low self confidence, then don't just go joking around about things like that. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

The Power of a Word can be so strong, that it may affect someone's life!!
When is that possible? When, for instance, you say it to a kid.

And again, I have some experience in that field.

My cousin has a daughter whose 9 years younger than myself. This girl was always criticized by her aunts and great aunts, and I have to admit that sometimes I criticized her too. This girl, ever since I can remember was criticized by everyone. The only one that was so sweet and caring with her was, my aunt, her grandmother. After a couple of years, she had a brother. He was cuter than her and funny. Everyone's attention turned to her brother and even worse, the criticism towards her was doubled. Soon after her grandmother died, and the only one left that showed her love was her dad. You will not believe it when I say that, even her mother criticized her and never took her side. This girl, at a younger age, was a very happy and playful child. All of a sudden, without any warnings, she transformed. She would not play with the other kids in the family; she would not joke around with everyone, and would come and sit in one place and not move or talk till they left. She started acting much older than her age hoping that this would satisfy everyone who’s been criticizing her. Seeing that, the people who used to criticize her are now trying to help her!! But it’s too late because the girl is scarred for life from their earlier non-stop criticism.

{Ok, that was one an example and on a kid, and of course kids believe everything.}

OK. Another example:

I was not in Egypt for the three prep years, so when I came back to 1st secondary, it was extremely hard to follow up with my friends, since lots of things were based upon the earlier knowledge, and specially Arabic. Anyways, when I started 2nd secondary, we were all terrified because simply I was totally lost in the Egyptian curriculum. I had changed schools and had missed a couple of lessons (I didn't take private lessons, instead I took school groups). On my first day, I found out I had a chemistry lesson!! You remember chemistry guys, this very weird subject that never seemed to be understood, and if you understand it then the information never stays in your memory. Anyways, I attended. And of course I was so darn scared, the first day in a new school and above that trying to catch up with my schoolmates. They all knew that teacher before and this was the first time for me to meet him. This man is the smartest man I ever met. In 5 minutes he made me feel home and confident. How? I really don't know. He would ask me questions about things he didn't explain yet and I would amazingly answer. On the first day, he had started telling me how smart I am, and even warned his star student that he has some competition. He was the first teacher that knew how to treat me. He kept building up my self confidence through the whole year. That didn't only affect my chemistry grade, it affect all my studies. He helped me through them all. And I was blessed with another teacher that did the same too, my Arabic teacher. This man, I really owe my life, both of them actually. Through encouraging words the whole 2 years, they made me pass them and with pretty good grades for my level when I first got there. I became the star student in most of my classes (God knows what happened to me now =S). And those words weren't made up or not true. They just knew when to compliment me and when not to. They wouldn't let me think too much of myself and yet don't under estimate my intelligence. They kept me balanced. (I’d be talking about them later in my blog, because that is a story to tell really)

So that was another example for how words can affect your future. And they did affect my future, cause till now, whenever I see them, they higher my self confidence and give me push of force towards working.

I guess now it very clear what words can do.
So people, seriously, think before you talk, you might end up losing everything.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

*quoted from Hossam Aldin from his last article "Climbing Yourself"

Words - Part 1

Words are a two sided weapon; if used wisely, could save a life, and if not, may lead to a disaster.

Words, as simple as they are, can control your future. If you say the right words in a presentation, it may lead to a promotion, on the other hand, if you don't, you might end up being fired.

So, apparently, words are a crucial weapon.

When you say something, most of the time, you don't give your brain time to think it through. There are a few questions you must ask yourself before letting any word to slip out of your mouth. These questions include:

1) Does my reply fully answer the question - or - is my comment suitable to the situation and is correctly used?
2) Is my reply clear enough and could not be misinterpreted?
3) Will my reply offend the person in front of me?
4) If so, then is it necessary for me to say it?
5) If so, could I rephrase it to hold the same meaning but in a less painful way?

Steps that already your brain undergoes, without us ordering it to. By following this sequence, you have decreased the chance of hurting your listener’s feelings and being misunderstood, by about 90%.

People under the influence of anger have no control over their reactions. The ones who do are considered very strong people (I for sure envy them). The worst part of anger is the things you say at the time. You might not mean it. Or even more you always don't mean it, they just come out alone!! Even worse, the strong painful feeling of regret and sorrow for the words that came out unwillingly, which can never be taken back. And no matter how much you apologize and say that you didn't mean it at all, and that they were just words that you blabbed out in rage, people have a very bad habit of not forgetting, especially, when it comes to bad words.

Personally, I have had lots of these situations.
I guess if you know me (even if not for long, unfortunately), you would have probably seen me in one of those uncontrolled moments. I am one very badly tempered girl, I'm afraid. What I hate about my rage, aside from feeling totally off balance, the stupid words that I say. Most of the time, I don't mean them (a). They may be words that I have kept deep down for some time, simply because I know that saying them would hurt this person's feelings. I really can't stand hurting someone, so you can imagine what I go through after screwing up everything during one of my rages. Seriously, you don't want to try that feeling (if you don't already know it).

Right now, I'm trying to fix that problem, cause, man, I'm tired for making up for what I say and from the whole lot of sorry I say!!
I try to do two things:
First, if possible, I try to walk away for a bit, give myself time to cool down and organize my thoughts, then return to the crime scene and continue arguing.
Second, I try to give myself splits of a second to think of my next word. I try to let my brain process and conclude the best word suitable for this situation. In these few splits of a second, internally, I try to cool down while my brain processes.
These are the two chooses I found to help me ease my rages.

Someone so dear* to me always tells me," Nothing is worth getting yourself huffy. The only person you are harming is yourself ". And of course it’s true. During my continuous rages, I can get blacked-out and my blood pressure rises so high that my hands don't stop shaking. And guess what, the person who caused this, is calm and quite in front of me!! So, cause of that stupid rage, I have caused myself a problem that can turn into something serious. Anyways, that is not our subject, but I'm sure I'd be discussing that some other time.

Now, from all the previous, we have seen one side of words and their effects.
Let me introduce another side, in the next post ......

*that dear person is my beloved grandmother

End of oldies ,, wait for the revolution =D

Well, by posting " Thoughts and Feelings ( 4 ) ", I have completed re-posting my old articles.
Stay tuned for my new ones as soon as I finish my exams isA. That's in 2 weeks =D .

Thoughts and Feelings ( 4 )

Heeey it's back to that stupid time .. PROJECTS AND EXAMS ..... !!!
Well it seems as if it was yesterday that I was having my first term exams. Well if you think about it, it was like a month a ago. MAN this term always flies by so quickly. And amazingly, even thought our drs know that but somehow they make this term harder !! Why exactly is that ??!!
It's a good question with no answer and I'm sure that every student that has ever been in 3rd FCIS has asked it.
You have no idea the amount of tasks due each week. We have 6 subjects ,, each subject either has a task which is a part of the final term project or it has its assignment that contributes in our final grade.
I know people always told us this year is hard and you'll work like you have never worked and then when you'r in 4th year you'll rest only 5 subjects and the graduation project .. BUT HELL MAN .. this term is like going through General Certificate all over again :S
Eventhough work - as you saw - is alot, I still try my best to have fun with my friends. It just hit me that next year is the last year :S.
And what makes me even more upset that I have made some new friends this year with people in the 4th year and they'll stop coming in abt 2 or 3 weeks and its not nice at all :s. Although I have just known them but I have grown very fond of them and can't believe that next year they'll leave us alone and we'll suffer with all the younger people ( I don't like year 1 and 2 :S kids )

Its really important that you never forget to have fun. Specially these days since we r all depressed and can't stand anymore work. We should have fun together so that we could encourage each other so we could work.
And eventhough I never thought of it but today while i was attending the party tht CS did for Dr.A.Salah ,, for the first time I felt I'm going to miss each and every dr tht has ever taught me a word in a section. Even the ones I hate or don't understand from them ( its not my fault, its them who can't explain well :huh ). They have all tried their best to be the best for us and they all deserve a huge TU from us.
These people were students once a upon a time. And some people really don't treat them well, but after all , these are students who have achieved high grades and deserve to become our future Drs, just telling them thank u makes a whole big difference to them. I'm not saying throw a party for each dr, but at least at the end of the year go tell them thank u, we gave you a hard time, we could have never successeded without, we owe you. Those words make a great difference with them. It gives them more energy and enthusiasum to work harder and better with the next generation specially that we all know that the university's routine is .... and they are fed up with their masters and work and everything. Seriously these people deserve a huge endeavour so they won't get fed up and leave ,, because if they do then its the end. No other instructors can ever be as well as the ones who really care about the students.

A word that everyone should always remember - NEVER EVER FORGET YOUR TEACHERS, THEY ARE THE REASON YOU KNOW THE INFORMATION YOU KNOW, RESPECT THEM, NEVER FORGET THEM AND ALWAYS CHECK ON THEM EVEN IF ITS JUST BY SENDING AN EMAIL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE.

Good Luck GuYz ...
It will soon be over

Thoughts and Feelings ( 3 )

Do you know the popular question that has a popular answer, " If you had three wishes, what would you ask for ? ". And you hear the same answer, " Well, I'd ask for never ending wishes, ".
Well, I'm not going to discuss the answer before understanding the question very well.
As soon as tht question is asked, you start thinking of all possible and impossible dreams you ever dreamt. Every person you wished once you'd meet. You start making a list with everything, and start categorizing and finalizing your choices. And to reach that stage you'd take weeks and may be monthes.
I tried to think of those wishes. And as the selfish mind of all humans, my mind started thinking of the greates and biggest dream I always wanted. A big mansion, be the richest person in the world, own a big competing company to microsoft with an ideal OS ( a new dream, only 3 years ). The mind wonders really !!
But then the rush cools down, and I started to re-gain my senses. The only real wish I have is to be happy. It seems like an easy dream but its not. It has many aspects to it. If you ask me now if I'm happy, I would for sure say no. There are a few things in my life tht I'm happy with. People might say am pasimistic, but I'm not. I'm just trying to be happy.
Do you know how anyone can be happy ?
To have a good relationship with God. If you have a good relation with God, you'll have a beautiful happy life cause there is always someone greater than any person, stronger than any bully, someone who loves you more than any lover would ever love you and someone who can solve any problem no matter how hard or complicated. That's why after you please God you are awareded by the greatest wishes you would ask for: Happiness and Peace.
God is always there for you, watching over you and protecting you.

يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبى على دينك

Thoughts and Feelings ( 2 )

Why do people tend to hurt themselves over others ?! You make your decisions and moves, always keeping in mind what others will think or how they'll feel. Even if you think you don't, you always have that in the back of your head. I'm not saying do whatever you want and don't care how people will feel , or hurt whoever you want and don't care !! But why don't we ever think about overselves ?? And I don't mean in a selfish way but again don't just neglect the inner you !! Don't shut it up for long cause you never know what might happen as a consequence to that. The only one who'll be truely hurt is yourself. Of course a decision you make may affect another person and hurt him, but its just temporary cause everyone forgets and forgives after some time. But if you neglect yourself once, you'll just keep on neglecting yourself for others, and in the end, yes everyone around you will be happy, but the most important one won't be; YOU !! You'll soon lose yourself and turn into a new person that you never thought you'd turn into. Soon after that you'll lose the ability to continue pleasing others over yourself. You'll be fed up and you might just burst. Its just a matter of time.
When thinking of a solution and what exactly you should do; should you neglected the inner you and lose yourself, or please yourself and might end up hurting a very close beloved person ? You just have to search and search for an answer. You think and think but you never reach anything, cause by that time you would have been in so deep with a lot of people. So my advice always start from the beginning and don't neglect yourself. But after searching and thinking and trying to resolve the problem you just find that the best solution for everyone is just neglecting yourself and keep on pleasing others, its the easiest solution.
It has only one problem though, this solution is not best for YOU !!

Thoughts and Feelings ( 1 )

I wish I could be a kid again, with no responsibilities. Just a little young child uncapable to do anything. Uncapable of taking my own decisions, and can never get blamed for the simplest ones I take or any action I do. Never be blamed for an angry word I say or even scream.
If you are still a kid, then don't rush through life 'cause you want to be a grown-up fast,dont jump stages 'cause life is a series of stages, a series of ordered stages, you'll soon reach that stage. Once you do, you'll be writing those same words !
If you aren't a kid, then the best you can do is be a child from the inside. Try to simplify your life.
The greatest worries of a child is a toy or a party or even a cartoon.
The smallest worries of a grown-up is life itself.
But as you grow up life starts throwing more and more complicated problems.
At some point ( at any stage or all of them even ), the whole world goes black. You always thought that if it ever turned black, it would start at pink and slowly fade into black, but it doesn't. It goes from pure pink and lovely, to pure dark and ugly.There isn't a single side of life that doesnt have a problem in it. EVERYWHERE !!!
Do you know when it hits rock bottom ??
When you dont even respect urself !?!? How are people meant to accept you when you dont even accept urself !?!?
When you try to think of a solution, your mind just goes blank. Trying to fix anything, you just make it worse.
I think there is only one way to fix everything and make it right, Just Pray !! Pray to God to make everthing right, to do what's best for you and everyone around ( and always pray for the best and not for what you want cause God knows best ). That doesn't mean you pray and do nothing. You pray to God to help you do what's right, but also do something about it. Atleast try.

Introduction

As a start for my blog, I decided to re-post my old articles that were available on myspace, since my new articles will be about the same thing or more like, they are all under the same title.

My " Thoughts and Feelings " series.

My First article

Well well well , i have been wanting to start an online blog for some time now and i just never got the time to. but as soon as i remembered, even though i was busy and sleepy, i took a few minutes and started my blog.
its always been amazing to me why people could always make a blog and post things for the whole world to see and say things they would never say to anyone face to face. i'm not saying that they say something bad about anyone ( but sometimes they do ), i mean say how they feel or things they are thinking of and about.
i mean, i'm one of the people that write things that i would never talk to anyone about except certain people, my very close friends and my mother. and i dont like anyone to discuss with me what i wrote ( a comment on the blog is ok ) coz i get so embaressed. its weird, but so true.
and by the same rule goes chatting.
u know, my little brother was next to me while i was chatting with a friend, and he turned to me and said, have u totally lost it !! u r talking with urself on the computer 8-0 ?? as ridicioulus as it sounds, but it's partially true !!
u can always say things on the net that u can never say face to face. and that is y we find very shy and quite people that never talk with u face to face absolutly talkative and funny online. coz wht they fear isnt infront of them. they r actually talking to themselves, even though they rn't.
one very major problem with face to face conversations is eye contact. this is the main problem if not the only problem. its just that when u look into someone's eyes, u get confused and disturbed, u lose focus and just dunno wht to say !!

conversation is an art .... u learn it by experience .... and u gain that experience by time and through life.

( this was just a rough start , a few things that came to my mind when i started writing. nothing fancy =D ,,, wait for more isA ...... )