Words - Part 1

Words are a two sided weapon; if used wisely, could save a life, and if not, may lead to a disaster.

Words, as simple as they are, can control your future. If you say the right words in a presentation, it may lead to a promotion, on the other hand, if you don't, you might end up being fired.

So, apparently, words are a crucial weapon.

When you say something, most of the time, you don't give your brain time to think it through. There are a few questions you must ask yourself before letting any word to slip out of your mouth. These questions include:

1) Does my reply fully answer the question - or - is my comment suitable to the situation and is correctly used?
2) Is my reply clear enough and could not be misinterpreted?
3) Will my reply offend the person in front of me?
4) If so, then is it necessary for me to say it?
5) If so, could I rephrase it to hold the same meaning but in a less painful way?

Steps that already your brain undergoes, without us ordering it to. By following this sequence, you have decreased the chance of hurting your listener’s feelings and being misunderstood, by about 90%.

People under the influence of anger have no control over their reactions. The ones who do are considered very strong people (I for sure envy them). The worst part of anger is the things you say at the time. You might not mean it. Or even more you always don't mean it, they just come out alone!! Even worse, the strong painful feeling of regret and sorrow for the words that came out unwillingly, which can never be taken back. And no matter how much you apologize and say that you didn't mean it at all, and that they were just words that you blabbed out in rage, people have a very bad habit of not forgetting, especially, when it comes to bad words.

Personally, I have had lots of these situations.
I guess if you know me (even if not for long, unfortunately), you would have probably seen me in one of those uncontrolled moments. I am one very badly tempered girl, I'm afraid. What I hate about my rage, aside from feeling totally off balance, the stupid words that I say. Most of the time, I don't mean them (a). They may be words that I have kept deep down for some time, simply because I know that saying them would hurt this person's feelings. I really can't stand hurting someone, so you can imagine what I go through after screwing up everything during one of my rages. Seriously, you don't want to try that feeling (if you don't already know it).

Right now, I'm trying to fix that problem, cause, man, I'm tired for making up for what I say and from the whole lot of sorry I say!!
I try to do two things:
First, if possible, I try to walk away for a bit, give myself time to cool down and organize my thoughts, then return to the crime scene and continue arguing.
Second, I try to give myself splits of a second to think of my next word. I try to let my brain process and conclude the best word suitable for this situation. In these few splits of a second, internally, I try to cool down while my brain processes.
These are the two chooses I found to help me ease my rages.

Someone so dear* to me always tells me," Nothing is worth getting yourself huffy. The only person you are harming is yourself ". And of course it’s true. During my continuous rages, I can get blacked-out and my blood pressure rises so high that my hands don't stop shaking. And guess what, the person who caused this, is calm and quite in front of me!! So, cause of that stupid rage, I have caused myself a problem that can turn into something serious. Anyways, that is not our subject, but I'm sure I'd be discussing that some other time.

Now, from all the previous, we have seen one side of words and their effects.
Let me introduce another side, in the next post ......

*that dear person is my beloved grandmother